Smoking them all.

Yesterday was a disastrous day. I spent 5 hours or so on the road for just merely 65Km. All this thanks to the preparation of Wilayah Day, Thaipusam and a million thanks to the toll price hike.


All of this was cooking me up in the car. The lyrics from Ludacris's song is not helping either. "I feel like killing a nigga today...." It kept playing, the melodic chrous. Indeed I feel like it. Thank God gun was not easily attainable here, or else many queue jumpers would be shot dead.


And talking about gun shootings, a hitman movie is out there waiting for me to purchase it. One of my favourite job to have. Smokin'Aces tells a tale about 7 hitman hired to kill a person turned state's evidence.


Quite a normal thing if you get what I mean. Once you turn state's evidence, you better get protection or you sleep with the fish. I guess we all could see that in Collateral too.


Like Mos Def and a lot of other rappers, a rapper Common is going on silver screen too.


So where would you run if you have 7 different contract hitman out there trying to wipe you off the planet Earth? Being a hitman was never easy. It takes a lot of things to be considered, and not just a trigger happy motherfucker. Then again being the contract person to be killed, is not going to be easy either.


They say the road will make you a beast. I believe now it is true. I really wanted to bust a cap into their head as they cut your queue in the midst of a massive congestion. They are the one who is making it harder. I went into fade, just like Broadhurst Monk or Jim Davis. I could already picture myself shooting them in the face, because I always love them to not have open casket funeral. Or for those who are to be cremated, steal a part out of them, so they will not have full body ash.


I think I need medication.

Election

Some of the Chinese in the old days always stay together as organization. They created this pack, and work hard in it to form a party that profits each other. They will protect each other. At times, there would be a couple of other organizations in the same area. The dog eat dog situation was already constituted back then.


Some of the organizations live long enough to spawn their hereditary. Some made new ones.


Nowadays they call it triads.


Even the founder of Kuala Lumpur, Yap Ah Loy was in the triads. One of the reason why he is not really being acknowledged much besides a few mentions in the history text book. None of his generation really had the recognition that he built Kuala Lumpur out of some quarry mines.


In these modern days, not only Chinese are in the triads. As we are of multiracial community, the triads has gone multiracial too.


Up where I live, there is this community, the Soldiers I call them. Young professionals paying entrance fee. They think they would be great if they join a gang, and could use that little power to show off a little.


Little did they know that they have to lose sleep because when the gang calls you up wee in the morning to beat people up or collect some fee, you cannot say no. The worst is because of their background of young professionals, they would not know some of the people they beat up. They have no idea who their enemy is. When they are not in the gang, usually they will be hit by karma.


I never believed in the more people the stronger they are. People's determination or their level of craziness are not something we could measure at times. For all you know, it just take one friendly looking person to come up and stab you with a thin and long hollow pipe, and you watch your blood falls out like wine.


The gang would be growing, but why it wasn't publicised and stopped? Well how can you stop a gang, when the government and authorities are involved in it. It's a gray area. Not black nor white.

Harsh Times

Christian Bale never fail to convince anyone if he ever take up a psychopatic character. If you look at him as the child in Empire of the Sun, you will know it runs a long way. To many that character was a lost soul during the war, to me, it was the most crazy kid I ever saw on the silver screen.


This time the core of the craziness derived from a war too. The Gulf War to be exact. Christian Bale stars as Jim, an ex ranger, hoping to change his life getting his dream job and marrying the woman he love. It goes both ways, the society that seems to be dragging him into the dark, or it was his own fault.


His rage began after LAPD rejected his offer. Literally right after. He was never the same Jim again.


The harsh reality of how friendship, loyalty and ambition, not to mention also love would change your life in a split second. Your misjudgement. Mistakes. The dark side of the society.


I grew up as a kid who smokes weed every Monday night claiming for a walk at the night market. Every weekend also, we would puff up, and the take the mini bus right down to KL city. Upon reaching the town, we would walk up to Parkson and buy ourselves a bottle of cheap liquor where we would go buy soda and distribute it among ourselves. High as a kite. Dunlopp glue. Cough mixture from the Kelantanese. Distributing motor cycle parts. Underage sex. Fruit stealing. Shoplifting. House breaking. Every little things you pray your kids doesn't do, I guess I have almost done it all. Except for murder of another human, though I had killed two dogs in my life.


In this movie, it teaches you that in a very subtle way that you cannot blame society for all that is happening to you. Though I would not exactly know what would be of my life if Ms. Wah did not decide that we should move out once and for all.


But can you really blame society?


I believe the answer is still no. The path was laid out. You chose the destination. You've done things on your free will. Remember. No one pointed a gun at your temple and force you to do so.


So stop blaming.


Yes I might be talking to you O Mr. Government.

Take the vow

Someone must be working real hard this year. As far as I am concerned, many people are marrying this year. They either have the plans all sort out or about to walk the aisle soon.


That includes my brother as well.


Though it's all auspicious and happy, there is only one thing you would not like to hear at your friends/relatives wedding. The big question. The one that makes you down XO like it was Teh O Siam. The one that makes you excuse yourself just to run away.


When it will be your turn.


However today I found an answer.


A colleague was asking that million dollar question.


"Asyik pergi kenduri kahwin je, bila pulak ko nak kahwin?"


I smiled and answered, "Tinggal satu je kenduri lagi nak pergi, pastu aku kahwin la."


"Kenduri apa lagi ko nak gi?", he asked.


"Satu je lagi. Kenduri arwah ko. (Your funeral)


All he could say was, "Pukimak ko. HAHAHA.


Try it. It might be useful. Plus you don't only have to use it on your auntie or uncle.

Shaken or stirred?

Eddie Temple said, "You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son."


At times, I could not agree more.


Life isn't as fluffy as you always wanted them to be. You don't roll out of the cunt right on to a speeding Shelby. No branded clothings. No luxury watches. It isn't always dreamy. Nobody to iron your fucking thousand ringgit a piece napkins. Life, isn't as you fucking plan it to be.


It's either you take shit or you are full of shit. It's shitty in both situations.


What worst is when you start picking on people's life as if you're Mahatma Gandhi. It's always like taking designer drugs -- good times today, stupid tomorrow.


But what would you actually do when a girl says on the phone, "I was just rubbing the phone against my fanny. My, oh, my, it's fresh this morning. And look at my nipples, standing up like little soldiers. What is a poor girl to do?"


You probably crawl out from the shithole you created. Jump from building to building. Kill a couple of grandmas in between the journey. Heck, some would even slapped their mama.


Or you could just calmly answer, "Read the fucking manual."

Can I fucking order now?

Tip to open up a restaurant and to stay in business for a longer period of time is to not have success syndrome.


Usually mankind do suffers from a little success syndrome. Though it may not usually apply to all. People tend to get a little arrogant and shallow when the amount of their asset increases. They tend to forget about themselves. It is very much different from cases of losing own's identity.


What will happen if a restaurant or a business suffers from success syndrome?


They take forever to even come up to you to take your order. They even take longer to come up with your bill. At times, once or twice of this bad ordeal could be pardoned, when the place is full with people and you are short-staffed. But every single time would be not be excused.


The highest revenue generated in a month of the restaurant branch in town could be the factor. Host/hostess looks like they don't give a shit whether you are eating at their restaurant. Servers glide through like they do not see you. A test has been done, we put a used plate on one of the hallway which they glide through everytime. It took 4 servers and half an hour later to only realised there was an used plate visible to even an one-eyed cow.


Billing was a problem too. In order to pay, you will have to probably wave the servers over in about 20 minutes earlier before you want to walk off. 5 to 10 minutes was probably gone when you try to wave a server over. It has often been a boiling point when we need to make the time for a movie.


Sadly, it happens to most successful place. You will know it when they have the look of not bothered to serve you at times. And most of the time, we just walk off.

Irony Ziony

It has always amazed me. Looking at the fact of the people in the country that hate the Zionist rulers of Israel are the same category of people who mostly idolised the Zionist singer.





And not to mention idolized the Rastafarians whom believe in Zionist teachings.


Perhaps the world is really full of hypocrisy.

What does 'no' means?

Alright, you don't have to crack your head or bust your own nuts to figure out that. It is as simple as it is. No, in any other way, means no.


But to some people, no mean as an excitement for them to make a yes out of you. It is as if God would crown them and make them the next apostle in the wars of the Heaven. Sorry to say, there is no yes in 'no'. If there would be another wars of the Heaven, Lucifer would win. I am no Atheist, but I solely believe he would win. It is because religion is dead.


The people who loves to make a yes out of no, is most probably sales promoter. Perhaps someone who would gain some benefits out of you saying yes instead of no.


Most importantly, the point is I hate repeating myself when I say no. I hate it when you creep out and invade my stand in the answer. I said no, motherfucker. Fucking deal with it.


Though this reminds me of an old story.


As kids, me and brother suffers Hell when the bossy grandmother came living with us. Nobody could stand her. The last resort was to live with her only daughter Ms. Wah.


She is bossy. She is always right. If Christopher Reeves would have gone crippled much, much earlier. I believe she would want to be Superman too. She boast about how she survived when the communists drag her up the mountain and wanted to kill her for working with the Japanese. She is so proud of her achievement of saving her housemate from dying because the housemate was possessed by a spirit who hanged himself. In other words, she is full of "Aku Bagus!"


She has always like people to do everything her way.


If you think the lady from Ibu Mertua made you hate every inch of her, you are wrong. There is always someone worst than her.


To cut all the long history short, it boils up to one day. She forces my brother and I to eat something that we do not like. I got away because I ran away fast enough. My brother, the poor soul was too young to know. She kept forcing and my brother still insist on saying no.


She got furious. She used her walking stick to hit on my brother. When I saw that and looking at my brother crying from the hits, I snapped. I charged like a mad bull and hit her hand so hard, her walking stick flew away. I was this close to strangle her to death.


But my late father saw the commotion and asked me to apologize to her. All this even when his favourite son was hit by a thick walking stick.


I did not apologize. My father caned me and yet I didn't move or apologize. He caned me until the bruise was cut open and bleeding. The pain could not match my rage on this woman. I stood there being caned for half and hour. I still do not apologize.


I only went up close to her ears later at night and said, "You ever touch my brother again, I will make sure no one will recognize your dead corpse."


Dammit I still hate her even when she's dead for years already.

Tigers in the wild

I didn't think I would be stuck on the channel. I sat there, drinking a glass of coke. A cigarette on my right hand. My eyes fixated on the television, as I watch the story unfold.


I thought to myself, "Not bad. Some interesting story our own film maker has come up with."


Bilut was showing on Astro Showcase. A Malay movie of a story concerning people and the Felda settlement, particularly Felda Lurah Bilut. The story was most probably told by Yusof. I did not actually watch the first quarter of the movie. The story begins from the first settlement project in Bilut in the 60s and span right through the year 2006.


But the arrangement of the movie will jump from one time to another.


Frankly I never thought I would actually enjoy the movie. But I did.


This is why I usually will only judge a movie when I watch it. Not by listening and agreeing with others, because everyone will have a different opinion.

Demilitarized zone.

It feels like Korea at work after the New Year.


There used to be both employees from two institutions working in one same department. Regardless which institutions you are employed under, you serve one single goal. You serve one single chief. You run the place like a team.


The new year brought changes. Drastic if I might add. Now there would be two chiefs, one heading their own institutions but still resides in the same part of the building. The chief before the break up is losing her powers. Yet she once a while still wants to use a little of them left to uphold matters in our part of the work. The new chief, well, seems to not have much clue, but great at dividing the jobs around.


In next week to come, I will have many jobs that I have not done before all my life. The funny part is she is giving orders, like I have been doing this all my life. But I will try to uphold what that is matters. The worst I could foresee from this is they will try to get rid of me.


On our part, we are the North Koreans. We do all the work regardless of your post. We are still being paid the salary we used to have. Every single one will be overloaded with job soon. Like communists.


Nevertheless the other institutions will be the South Koreans. They have the technology and manpower. They still need some of our services, therefore they would pry over and make us do some of the job.


All I can say that it will be challenging this year. I, personally would like to see what's the damage of all this. Because as far as I know, one person cannot be at three different location at the same time doing three job at once.

Mexican roulette.

I have always love Johnny To's movies. The dark humor in it. The night scene he always love to potray. The climb up the flight of stairs by the PTU members.


I like guns. I like violence. I like profanity. I like nudity -- who doesn't?. I like gore. I like the taste of blood. Iron zesty taste. But as much the society deems to say that all these potrayed in movies will corrupt the youth of today. It, on the other hand, only corrupt the youth with weak mind.


Despite what I like, you just don't see me going out on the streets wielding a pipe beating the crap out of strangers without reason. You do not see me smash a person's face with a extinguisher till it flats out with oozing pulp. You do not see me using the taxi door to slam a person's head. You do not see me holding a person's head and run towards a wall slamming his head on to it.


The point is, well, as usual they banned a Johnny To movie. The cast of The Mission, or most of his recent movie is reunited again. Some say it could be called a sequel to The Mission, although it's of a completely different storyline. They thought because they have the same cast, it not technically but can be considered as a sequel on their own opinion.


The beginning of the film shows two groups of two person looking for a person. One group is there to protect him. The other is to kill him. The intensity is reached even at the beginning when the person they are looking for drove in.


Unfortunately as the intense begins to grow, the DVD was stuck. Very unfortunate. The less than 10 minutes of the movie is already leaving such anticipation. Like you have someone blow you off, and in middle of everything, she walks away leaving you cuffed and naked on the railings.

Oops did I do that?

One of the many things I hate when I am surrounded by a huge crowd and no space to move anymore is getting my feet stepped on. More than three times from the same person. A person that step on your foot more than three times at that same moment, deserves to at least die.


Once is forgivable. Tight space. Eventually some will lose control of where they are stepping. Basically nothing wrong with that even without an apology.


Twice would be pretty rude. You already know you stepped on the person's foot before. Hence you should move a little away. You do not stump your foot there again.


Third time. Bam. If you have a glock, you could always point it at their temple and knock the door with your bullets.


During a rave at KL Tower once, somebody irritated me more than three times. I end up pinching her ass real hard whenever the smoke appears. It was so hard, you could hear her little scream beneath the loud music.


This time, I was up to it again. The venue was Velocity. I never laughed so hard inside me before. I laughed so hard inside, the person in drinking the beer was choking.


A shuffler was right in front of me. The Kuda Kepang boys I call them. He wore a thick jacket when everybody was sweating even with bikini on. I believe he is having a problem differentiating North Pole and Sunway Lagoon. He shuffles hard. You could see him soaking and probably have Noah's Ark hidden inside his jacket. I do not mind that, if he is so enthusiastic about his shuffling.


But he stepped on my foot. He went round and round. He stepped on it again. After one or two round he comes back and step on it again.


I am moving back and giving him space.


He still comes back stepping on my foot again. My poor All White Adidas Superstar II. By the time I lost control, it was already has little black mark on it.


I lost it. My rage decided to take over. So when the next round he shuffles near, I observed his legs. I am figuring out how will he lose control if I decided to trip him a little. I got the angle. I didn't even think twice the time he comes around. One little light kick on one of his leg is all I need.


He fell down so hard. He completely flipped over. He even stood out wondering where did he step wrong. He kept looking around with his confused look. He didn't know I trip him. And he fucking deserved it.


If you ask me, that would be the hardest laugh I've had for the year 2006.

Uptown please.

Today is the first day I begin work for the new year. The bluest of all Monday. My partner left. My superior as usual, would push all the job to me. The same usual wicked plan, he left e-mails of what to do before I even got my ass back to work -- which he could have done when I was not around. It's like pre-meditated murder.


For those who were enjoying the cruise during the school holidays and festive season, today would be hell for drivers. This morning before there was even sunrise, traffic congestions were everywhere. I wonder how it would be for people who move out after the sunrise.


Monday blues were never the same again.


Last night, however, we bought an interesting documentary. A year old documentary which was about sneakers. The sneaker craze. Adidas to New Balance. From retro spec to custom cross breed. From the days of Roc Steady Crew and Cold Crush Brothers to the Pharell. From the almighty All White Uptown (Uptown were NYC slang for Air Force One) to the exclusive 150 pairs of NYC Pigeon Dunks.


Some of you might have known how crazy Tiffany Dunks was first on sale. People line up before the store was even open. NYC Pigeon Dunks set the peak. People line up 4 days and slept in front of the Reed Space, and NYPD has to guard and clear the riot before the grill was even pulled up on the store. Hijackers and thugs were waiting at every corner with baseball bats, machete and knife just to rob the exclusive 150 persons.


And some lucky bastards like Damon Dash from Rocafella Records, who have a Nike room and an Adidas room with hundred pair of sneakers. Some of it were never worn before. For some of you who might know this, Damon Dash has quite a disgusting habit. He only wear things once.


Many rap artist were interviewed. The best duo was Grandmaster Caz and JDL from Cold Crush Brothers. One of the pioneers who drop rhyme while Roc Steady Crew dance to their beat. They are funny. Period. Those two motherfuckers are entertaining.


I could say it would be a must DVD collection for all sneakers collector. Not that I am one.


Though I am still trying to get an affordable White with Black swoosh Air Force One, where I saw a second hand still costing RM600.


The fuck?

Confession of pain

After all the tattoo Apeq had, this time he complains of pain. The new tattoo of his includes shading. He said it felt like being burn by fire.


His new tattoo cost him RM800, which means it would take me a long time to get one that size. He is in a manager level, while I am the low level where at times can be asked to carry tables around.


Though bonus comes together with this month salary, I am anticipating one tattoo on my right leg near the ankle. Nevertheless could be painful since it's bones all around.


Many people asked, why go through the pain just to have one.


Tattoos, I believe, could only be understood by one who did it. What is put on their body sometimes are only understood by the owner themselves. You just don't question what it is. Even if it looks like lump of shit. It is because you did not go through their life in their shoes.


Yet, still of course I did not answer why would people do it.


People do it because they want to do it, for various reason. Many other people would do their best to stop you. But like in life, it's a decision you choose to make, and you will be responsible for it. And like in life, many would not agree to what you have done. But no one could ever do a single thing that would be agreeable to 6 billion people in the world.


The clue to my next tattoo would be the initial of a name I used for many years now. I would have to choose the font and design that I would need.

Work in progress

So it has been the new year already. By tomorrow many of us corporate slaves will begin pushing coals into the pit to fire up. Waking up would be really hard for some.


Though I am still on leave.


But when I return to work, I will not have my partner in crime there anymore. Many things will change. As the management will begin to split the hierarchy control. Here comes the new King, or well, Queen to be exact. Thus far, she has not shown much true colors yet. Let's just say everyone is waiting for how the new management will bring us.


The last few days of the partner in crime being there was fun. We get to play around with our supervisor. The one who when too busy ordering us to do his deed, forgot most of what need to be done.


One day the server was halted to be upgraded. All system had to be run offline. When the server is online, the data offline must be uploaded into the server. The computer that stores the data has security cards. If you do not go in supervisor mode, anything you do and save on the computer will not appear when you reboot the computer.


So the bad luck arrives. Before data was managed to be saved, there was a trip and the data was not saved and lost. We know the answer already, but not our supervisor.


We tried to tell him, but he was too stubborn and perhaps arrogant to listen.


He stood there for hours trying to figure out why the data was lost.


We hang around and waited for how long will he figure it out. Laughing and surfing away.


Hours later, he proudly walks by and told us he seems to know why and what went wrong.


We both answered, "Oh really. No wonder." We both acted like little boys who stole candy from the store and acting blur when questioned.


We had the best laughter after that.


The moral of the story is, sometimes, when people wants to tell you something, try to listen to it first. Or you will end a standing moron for hours.