Shaken or stirred?

Eddie Temple said, "You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son."


At times, I could not agree more.


Life isn't as fluffy as you always wanted them to be. You don't roll out of the cunt right on to a speeding Shelby. No branded clothings. No luxury watches. It isn't always dreamy. Nobody to iron your fucking thousand ringgit a piece napkins. Life, isn't as you fucking plan it to be.


It's either you take shit or you are full of shit. It's shitty in both situations.


What worst is when you start picking on people's life as if you're Mahatma Gandhi. It's always like taking designer drugs -- good times today, stupid tomorrow.


But what would you actually do when a girl says on the phone, "I was just rubbing the phone against my fanny. My, oh, my, it's fresh this morning. And look at my nipples, standing up like little soldiers. What is a poor girl to do?"


You probably crawl out from the shithole you created. Jump from building to building. Kill a couple of grandmas in between the journey. Heck, some would even slapped their mama.


Or you could just calmly answer, "Read the fucking manual."